I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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