drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
