Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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