I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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