she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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