I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I just burned my penis
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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