Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
