I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
