we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
