I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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