So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize