Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
