yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
