He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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