I look better un-naked...
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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