if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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