i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
