Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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