super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
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I drank myself into bisexuality again.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
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So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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