There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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