Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
