Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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