Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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