living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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