we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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