I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
