Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
