Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
