what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
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I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
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Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
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