so that wasnt chicken after all
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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