question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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