Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
they need to just BURY HIM!
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
