sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
