I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
