so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
