its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
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