debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
