i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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