You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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