I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
