I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I party with great urgency now.
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