Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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