'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
He felt like a one man threesome
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Randomize
