her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
