NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
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