I should be sponsored by Trojan
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
