life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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