i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
