the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
