when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
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My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
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Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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