Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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