I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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