is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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