Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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