Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
