I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
