I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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