you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
