Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
